“it seems your anxiety is responding better to running than high intensity intervals, so let’s switch to improving your running form and stop the HIIT sets” — i mean, that wouldn’t be that hard. literally just let me self-report onto a clipboard.

like how cool would it be to have professional help getting moving again after laying facedown on the ground for a year, without having to slink in and get an endorphins prescription for an off-label treatment

tbh i wish the gyms around here would get real and market workout programs specifically for depressed people that focus more on tracking mood than inches

quiet, still, morning time is one of my favorites. i don’t like getting up early, but i’ll do anything to have a bit of peaceful daylight before humans ruin it

bought some new extra-angry dish soap because the 100 year old pipes in our building are trash, and now all my water bottles smell like urinal cakes ☹️

you are standing in front of your kitchen cabinet, with the cabinet door open, looking for your snacks. “hey! did someone move my snacks? i can’t find them.”

which roommate do you believe?

1. “nope”

2. “i have not seen them and will let you know when i do”

you are standing in front of your kitchen cabinet, with the cabinet door open, looking for your snacks. “hey! did someone move my snacks? i can’t find them.”

which roommate do you believe?

1. “nope”

2. “i have not seen them and will let you know when i do”

my motto is: remember something ten times, forget it eleven times

nz terrorist attack Show more

pol, israel/US Show more

pol, israel/US Show more

gross joke Show more

*rocking back and forth in chair*
“in my day, the bank would give you a free toaster for opening an account. nowadays, they’ll charge you a $25 overdraft for buying a $8.99 toaster with $5 in your account and a $600 paycheck pending”

how did benedict cumberbach get made fun of so much while we just let scoot mcnairy sit there, untouched

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